Captain Park’s Imaginary Polar Expedition

In 1898, Captain Jackson “Jack” Park made an historic expedition to the South Pole, returning to London with strange artifacts unseen by civilized man, tales of high adventure, and memories of heroes lost in the frozen wastes.

With the prestige his famous Expedition brought him, Captain Park became a charter member of the London Professional Gentlemen’s Club, who ultimately named a room, a drink, a chair, and a day of the week after him. (They attempted to name a park after him, but the concept proved ludicrously unworkable.)

However, you and your associates know the real truth: Captain Park never went to the South Pole at all. Instead, he spent the preceding nine months relaxing in his flat in Stepney. You even witnessed the old liar wandering around London during his putative polar trek, and on the very day when he claims to have scaled Mount Erebus, you caught him nicking out the back of a coffee house on Broadwick wearing a sun dress and an unbecoming false moustache.

Disinclined to reveal the old bastard for a liar, you’ve decided instead to take a little slice of his brand of fame. If Captain Park can have an imaginary adventure, so can you.

You will comb the city of London for proof of your fantastic adventures, then rush back to the Gentlemen’s Club to proffer your lies to the envious old suckers who live there, after which you intend to bask in the warmth of their undeserved awe. It’s a fine plan, as long as Captain Park doesn’t catch you.

He knows what you’re up to, of course, and there’s no way he’ll sit back and watch you steal his thunder, not to mention his day of the week. So get cracking, keep your head low, and consider the benefits of investing in a false moustache.

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